Bury Me In Willow

Not only are handmade willow caskets beautiful, they are an ecologically beneficial alternative to the traditional casket.

Woven caskets are traditionally made in the UK where natural burials are more common, but the desire for natural burials and biodegradable caskets in the US are growing in popularity. Currently, they are allowed only at a handful of cemeteries in states such as California, South Carolina, Florida, Texas and New York.

So why willow? 

Willow integrates with its surrounding land exceptionally well, providing a natural habitat for many species of wetland birds and animals. It is used as a natural engineering solution—biofiltration, constructed wetlands, ecological wastewater treatment, hedges, land reclamation, bio engineering, soil erosion control... just to name a few! Willow is even a great flood-defense, consuming much more water than agricultural crops. Planing willow in flood-prone zones takes pressure off the natural landscape.

Willow decomposes much more quickly than conventional coffin materials such as MDF, hardwood, and metal.

The plants themselves—Salix Triandra—last 60 years before needing to be re-planted. Even the harvesting of the willow plants uses minimal machinery, and the plants are often hand-sowed.  

Willow Style

At companies like Somerset Willow, you can choose colors, handle style, and shape on their website, and their experienced artisans will hand-weave a gorgeous willow casket (or urn!) to your taste. Once harvested, the willow is boiled and the bark is stripped. The willow is soaked for pliability and the hand-weaving begins. Each artisan must train for a minimum of five years at Somerset to perfect their skills. The caskets are finished with a natural cotton liner and oak name plate.

The fascinating story of Somerset Willow and their founder Edward Hill is worth a look.

Resources

 Passages International,  Musgrove Willow Coffins, , The Natural Burial Company, Lily Willow Coffins

You can even learn to weave your own willow coffin!

Going Out in Style + Harper's BAZAAR WTFashion Video

Going Out in Style created William Graper's ultimate funeral for Harper's Bazaar. 

Roses provided by Harvest Wholesale 

Going Out In Style wardrobe by Shopbop  and Cynthia Rowley

Performance by Well Strung

Going Out In Style Jewelry by Oscar de la Renta 

Gloves provided by Wing and Weft Gloves

Furniture provided by Michele Varian 

Props provided by Form Vintage  and  The Green Vase 

Gift Bag - Black Edge Matt Paper Carrier Bag 

Candle Dyptique Thomas Maier old Montauk Highway 

Going Out In Style makeup by Susie Sobol Makeup 

And thank you Green-Wood Cemetery

Memento Mori Paintings: Walter Kuhlman

Walter Kuhlman (1918 – 2009) was an abstract expressionist painter based in San Francisco. The image of the human skull has appeared in several of Kuhlman's paintings. Here, a hunched skull-headed figure stares at a floating flower garland. Death yearning for life. 

Memento Mori, 1974

Reinventing Death with Color

At Going Out in Style we think that death and loss can be celebrated many ways... with beauty, style, and even joy. That's why we so admire the work of I&S BBDO for funeral home Nishinihon Tenrei in Japan. 

It is traditional that Japanese funerals be dark, somber, and colorless and any deviation is considered taboo. But after the devastating 2011 Tohoki earthquake and tsunami, Nishinihon Tenrei decided it was time to celebrate the cycle of life with color. The result was this beautiful and award-winning campaign. 

And may all of our skeletons dissolve into flowers...

(via Spoon & Tamago)

Annabel Lee

It was many and many a year ago, 

   In a kingdom by the sea, 

That a maiden there lived whom you may know 

   By the name of Annabel Lee; 

And this maiden she lived with no other thought 

   Than to love and be loved by me. 

I was a child and she was a child, 

   In this kingdom by the sea, 

But we loved with a love that was more than love— 

   I and my Annabel Lee— 

With a love that the wingèd seraphs of Heaven 

   Coveted her and me. 

And this was the reason that, long ago, 

   In this kingdom by the sea, 

A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling 

   My beautiful Annabel Lee; 

So that her highborn kinsmen came 

   And bore her away from me, 

To shut her up in a sepulchre 

   In this kingdom by the sea. 

The angels, not half so happy in Heaven, 

   Went envying her and me— 

Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know, 

   In this kingdom by the sea) 

That the wind came out of the cloud by night, 

   Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee. 

But our love it was stronger by far than the love 

   Of those who were older than we— 

   Of many far wiser than we— 

And neither the angels in Heaven above 

   Nor the demons down under the sea 

Can ever dissever my soul from the soul 

   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee; 

For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams 

   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee; 

And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes 

   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee; 

And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side 

   Of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride, 

   In her sepulchre there by the sea— 

   In her tomb by the sounding sea.

. 

Edgar Allen Poe, 1849

This Is How I Want To Be Dead

Beyond the familiar “green burial” business of escaping the toxic culture of the conventional death industry, what appeals to author Richard Conniff (and a growing number of people) is the idea of using the cost of burials to buy and preserve undeveloped land. "Natural burial grounds" or "forest cemeteries" tend to look less like cemeteries and more like fields and woods, with walking trails.

"I doubt that I put it in so many words at the time, but the thought has lately come back to me: This is how I want to be dead. That is, in the woods, with wild things all around."

Op-ed in the July 7, 2017 New York Times, read it here.

Death Dinner Parties Part 2

Death Over Dinner brilliantly opens up conversations about death over dinner. Their survey helps you set up the conversation based on guests and intention and even provides recommended reading and listening before the party. 

Not only is Death Over Dinner a fantastic and effective tool for important conversations, the site is beautiful, clean, and simple. 

Go Out With a Bang!

What's your dream memorial ceremony?

Companies such as Heavens Above  and Heavenly Stars Fireworks and Ashes to Ashes provide amazing and unique memorial displays. They offer a variety of services for scattering ashes of yourself or a loved one by incorporating cremation ash into fireworks. Depending on your wishes, you can have a professionally launched display or choose from a wide array of self fired rockets. We love the idea of being sent off in style with a firework spectacular to be remembered by; literally going out with a bang.

Death Dinner Parties Part 1

Strangers coming together to talk about grief and loss over a beautiful meal... this is our kind of dinner party at Going Out in Style.

The Dinner Party takes fear and taboo out of the conversation and creates an environment that facilitates #lifeafterloss. They hope that one day young people who have experienced loss are recognized not as objects of pity, but as better listeners and better leaders, characterized by profound empathy, resilience, and agency. 

Their mission- To transform life after loss from an isolating experience into one marked by community support, candid conversation, and forward movement. 

Photograph by Sarah Cusimano Miles